


Rising to the Challenge

by DameRuth



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-21
Updated: 2010-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-06 12:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DameRuth/pseuds/DameRuth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nine has a proposition for Rose and Jack.  Yes, <i>that</i> kind of proposition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rising to the Challenge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wendymr/WMR](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Wendymr%2FWMR).



> Written for the ["Saying Yes 2010"](http://community.livejournal.com/saying_yes_2010/) sex-positive ficathon over on LJ, to WMR/wendymr's Nine/Rose/Jack prompt: "The Doctor is the one to propose sex to Rose and Jack - and makes it a condition that it's both of them or neither."  
> 

Rose and Jack stood open-mouthed in the doorway of the brand-new room the Doctor had brought them to see.

Most of the floor was taken up by an enormous round bed, scattered with tasseled pillows; the ceiling was one gigantic mirror. Purple shag carpet covered everything the bed and mirror didn't, including the walls. A pair of low tables at each end of the room supported two massive, suggestively-shaped lava lamps. There was even (Rose had to look twice to believe it) a floating mirror ball, giving off little glints as it turned in its anti-grav (or whatever) field.

She and Jack traded glances; for once, he seemed as gobsmacked as she was. Then they looked back at the Doctor, who was standing in front of the bed, grinning at them.

"So," he asked, spreading his arms. "What do you think?"

"It looks like some bizarre seventies bachelor pad, decorated by Salvador Dali," Rose said. After a moment she added, "When his was on drugs."

"Lots of drugs," Jack said, his lip curling at the appalling display of taste. "Where did all this come from?"

"I asked the TARDIS to make it up," the Doctor said in his isn't it bloody obvious? voice, dropping his arms and looking disappointed by their reaction.

"Ooo-kay," Jack said. "That's a start. Now let's try this one: in God's name, why?"

The Doctor bounced back into manic cheer. "Well, figured if I was gonna proposition you two I should have the right room for it."

"Whoa, back up," Rose said, waving her hands. "Proposition us? Jack'n'me both?"

"Yup," the Doctor said, beaming. "S' gotta be both of you."

Rose traded another glance with Jack.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're a hip kind of guy and all, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record -- why?" Jack asked.

The Doctor shrugged. "The sexual tension's been getting a bit thick, and this is the most efficient way to defuse it. Not to mention I'm a real tiger. It'll be easier on you if you can help each other out." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"That's what you thought, huh?" Rose asked, in a voice dripping sarcasm. "It'd take two of us to handle you?"

"Yup," the Doctor said, happily oblivious.

"Gosh," Jack chirped. "I'm relieved. I mean, how could we have been expected to cope, otherwise?"

He traded another glance with Rose, this time with the start of a wicked smile. Rose smiled back. She wasn't sure what he had in mind, but she was sure she'd like it.

"In fact," Jack said, "I think we could use a few more crutches. Just a sec." He closed his eyes. "There!" He glanced at the ceiling. "Thanks, sweetheart. I owe your diodes a good cleaning tomorrow." The TARDIS hummed and Jack began rummaging in a chest of drawers that hadn't been there before.

The first thing he pulled out was a pair of handcuffs, which he passed to Rose. She took them, grinning, and spun them around on her finger.

"Not sure what we can hook 'em up to," Jack told her, "but we can get inventive." The next thing he handed over was large, purple and unambiguous.

Rose laughed. "How many settings?" she asked.

"Infinitely variable," Jack told her smugly. "There're a couple buttons on the grip."

"Oh, yeah, I see 'em," Rose said. She flicked it on and experimented. The resulting thrum was impressive.

"Here's the attachments," Jack said, adding a flat case to the collection. Then: "Six-pack of lube. We'll need that. Here, catch!" He tossed the shrink-wrapped package to the Doctor. The Doctor caught it, but it was an automatic reaction; he was the one gaping now, looking back and forth between the humans with a deer-in-the-headlights expression.

"Mmmmm, there's more, but we'd better save some for later," Jack said, removing a second set of handcuffs and closing the drawer.

"Yeah," Rose said, shifting everything to the crook of one arm so she could unbutton her shirt. "Gotta pace ourselves."

"My thoughts exactly," Jack told her, nodding in solemn agreement. Then he grinned and peeled off his t-shirt, tossing it into the corner. With united purpose, they advanced on the still-stunned Doctor.

"Be gentle with us," Jack purred, just before they lunged and knocked their would-be seducer over onto the bed, backwards.


End file.
